Head vs. Heart

Maria of intueri.org has organized The Literary Cheese Wheel, challenging some bloggers to write the cheesiest, dorkiest piece we can about one entity meeting another. After reading a few of these, I couldn't resist. Here goes:

Head vs. Heart

“Who’s in charge? I am in charge, that’s who. That’s why they so often refer to me as the brains of the operation.”

“Well, if that’s true, then how come you can’t exist without a heart, mind you? You would know that if you truly were the "brains" of the operation, as you like to say.” “I mean, really, if the heart stops, that’s it! Finnito! You are done!”

“Yes, that’s true. But what have you got if you haven’t got the brains? Nothing, I say. They’ll call you a vegetable. How do you like that!”

“And you think women are attracted to brains?”

“Why yes, I do.”

“No, they want a man with a good heart. That’s what attracts them! (Wink, wink).”

“You can’t be serious? Have you ever heard a woman want a man without any brains? No. If they don’t have any brains, they’ll say, he’s got his head up his ass.” Women want a man with brains, I tell you.”

“No. They want a man with a good heart. Women don’t divorce a man with a good heart, you know.”

“Well, I can tell you, the brains are what women want. I know that. If they haven’t got any brains, they’ll call them a dumb ass. How do you like that?”

“As I recall, women also use the term, smart ass, too.”

“Why, yes, women like smart men. You don’t ever hear women say it’s a smart heart, do you?”

“Of course not, we use the term heart smart, because it’s the activity that gets me going and that is precisely what’s good for you. Gets me all revved up! Gets me pumping! Oh, yes, gets the blood flowing! Oh, I am getting excited now! Gets the missus all worked up and happy!! That’s the heart for you! And where are the brains at that time? They don’t care about the brains then, do they?” Ha, got ya there, my man!

“Oh, yes. And why do you think the heart got all worked up? Did you think about that? It’s because the missus wants another little one with some brains around the house. She never says, I want a child with a good heart. No, sir. It’s the brains, these women are paying for. Like Harvard or Yale graduate. They aren’t asking for a good heart.”

“Well, maybe they should. What good are the brains without a good heart?”