Happy

Dear Son had a very good day today. Mornings are his best time and he woke up with a smile on his face. It was like old times. Dear Son has always been a naturally happy baby and then a happy young man. When he wasn't sick, he always woke up with a smile on his face. As he got older and much sicker, those times have been few and far between.

Normally, I give him a big hug and a million kisses when he wakes up the morning. As I kiss his neck, I tell him how much I love him and all kinds of stuff. I wrap his arm around my neck or sometimes just wrap my arms around him, depending on what he can do. While he doesn't reciprocate very well, lol, he does enjoy it. He just kind of lays there as if to say, "oh, Mom" but when I look at his face when I am done, he'll have a sparkle in his eye and will be smiling. That's on a good day and we haven't had a lot of those over the past few months.

I told him that Dad was coming over to give him a haircut and bath and that we were heading to the doctor. Normally, Dad does this on weekends however it was easier to do it all this morning. When Dad wheeled him out of the bedroom for his shave, he seemed genuinely happy. He was bright eyed, looking around, watching the cat and very in tune with what was going on.

Dad had a little fun with him and decided to shave the hair on the top of his head only and left the sides as if he were bald and told me to check it out. Of course, I said no and that he needed to shave it all. Dear Son thought that was funny since he likes when a little bit of chaos happens or something doesn't quite go as planned. Dear Son enjoyed the whole process.

We saw the GI doc later in the day and I asked him to check his stomach. Once Dad put him up on the examining table, Dear Son actually said "hi" to the doctor. He rarely talks and only has a handful of words but it is easiest to speak when he's on his back or side. In the old days, he always said "hi" when he got to school or when he would be around people.

Once the doctor left, the nurse started talking to him. She sat down and looked him in the eyes. She told him how good he looked and really seemed to connect with him. He was engaged with her and had a big smile on his face. He was looking at her with his big blue eyes and for a minute I could see the old Dear Son in there. His skin was beautiful and clear, his eyes were bright and overall, he looked really good. It was wonderful.

We stopped for an x-ray of his stomach after that and then came home. He fell asleep in the recliner and later I put him to bed. I stayed in the room to talk to him for a while and he worked hard to say, "Hi, Mom". Once he gets the "hi's" going, he'll keep saying it but today he kept trying to get the "mom" in too. It doesn't get much better than that.

He slept the rest of the day but all in all, it was his best day in a very long time. Dear Son is a wonderful young man and it was really nice to see him like his old self again today.

It was ironic too because as we were driving home, we passed by his old daycare center. Back then, he could walk on his knees and he loved being around the other kids but especially loved it when they would take the kids out to the grassy area behind the daycare center. Of all of the places for the kids to run and play, there was this one spot, a dirt hole, that he loved to play in. He would sit in this dirt hole and loved it. When I would pick him up after work, I'd come outside and once he'd see me, he'd take off on his knees in the other direction, out of the dirt hole and wait for me to come after him. I'd tease him and come up to him and wrap my arms around him. He loved it. As I passed the daycare center today, it reminded me of the old dirt hole. I had half an inkling to drive around back to see the old dirt hole and to talk to him about it, to see if he'd remember it. That's how I knew he was having a good day. Because it brought back the old memories with a fondness for the good 'old times rather than a memory of the good 'old days when he could do "x" and the sadness that follows. As we passed the daycare center, I couldn't help but get the picture of him out of my mind, sitting in the dirt hole with his turquoise t-shirt on, the sunshine radiating on his black hair and his clear blue eyes and Dear Son radiating the same joy right back at the sun. I guess that's why the Disney Make a Wish trip meant so much to me, because I wanted to see his face like I used to, all lit up with the sun shining down on him, just like the good 'old days. I never realized that until now.

As for me, I am slowly feeling better. We have another appointment tomorrow with the pulmonary doc.

P.S. If you haven't read the dirt hole story, you may want to read it now. It's probably one of my best stories.