I had talked to Dear Son all morning about getting the new hospital bed. Today was the day it was going to be delivered. I often talk to him about what is happening that day, or what is going to happen, meaning where we are going, or why things are happening. I can usually tell by the expression on his face, if he gets it, and how he feels about it. But the hospital bed conversations, were going over like a lead balloon.
I try hard, to create some excitement for things that we are doing, especially those things that he really needs or has to do, like getting the new bed. I desperately need it so I can use the Hoyer Lift which does not fit under his current bed. From Dear Son’s standpoint, I was concerned about his comfort. His current mattress was relatively new. He had received it around Christmas time in December of 2004, when he was in the hospital. He had been bedridden for a while at that time and it seemed like the best thing we could do for him. As it turned out, he would sleep for months after that, unable to attend school in August of 2005. It took him ten months to recover from that hospitalization to where he could begin to attend school again.
I had spent the morning, taking apart his current bed, removing the headboard, taking the frame apart and then removing the mattresses to another room, until his father would pick them up and take them to Grandma’s. The delivery men were supposed to deliver the new bed in the afternoon. I had made a call to his father regarding picking up Dear Son’s mattress later that evening.
Dear Son was rocking in his chair as he listened to me talk to his father on the phone. As soon as he heard that his mattress was going to Grandma’s, he seemed relieved. I got off the phone and talked to him. I told him that he could sleep in his old bed when he went there. He suddenly began rocking faster and smiling. I asked him, “Were you worried that you were going away along with your mattress?” He stopped and looked me in the eye. I told him that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he was staying with me. Suddenly, he seemed happier and began rocking.
I thought back to a conversation that I had on the phone just a few weeks back when I was writing the ficticious Baby Toby conclusion. I was talking to a friend of mine and had explained the part about about the disabled twin brother going to an institution. Dear Son has gotten very upset and started to cry when he heard me talk about it and I immediately got off the phone and had to explain to him for twenty minutes that it was just a fake story and had nothing to do with him. So the conversation today about the new hospital bed had him worried that I was giving him up.
As I put him in his new bed that night, I told him how much I loved him and that he was never going away. I told him that he should never worry about that. I kissed him good night and hoped he would sleep well.
I woke up the next morning with the most glorious sound filling the house. It was Dear Son snoring, loud as can be. I think it was the best night’s sleep he’s had in a long time. And mine too.
*It’s been almost a week now since he’s had the new bed. He continues to sleep well since I am able to raise the head of the bed up, to keep him from choking on his saliva.
I try hard, to create some excitement for things that we are doing, especially those things that he really needs or has to do, like getting the new bed. I desperately need it so I can use the Hoyer Lift which does not fit under his current bed. From Dear Son’s standpoint, I was concerned about his comfort. His current mattress was relatively new. He had received it around Christmas time in December of 2004, when he was in the hospital. He had been bedridden for a while at that time and it seemed like the best thing we could do for him. As it turned out, he would sleep for months after that, unable to attend school in August of 2005. It took him ten months to recover from that hospitalization to where he could begin to attend school again.
I had spent the morning, taking apart his current bed, removing the headboard, taking the frame apart and then removing the mattresses to another room, until his father would pick them up and take them to Grandma’s. The delivery men were supposed to deliver the new bed in the afternoon. I had made a call to his father regarding picking up Dear Son’s mattress later that evening.
Dear Son was rocking in his chair as he listened to me talk to his father on the phone. As soon as he heard that his mattress was going to Grandma’s, he seemed relieved. I got off the phone and talked to him. I told him that he could sleep in his old bed when he went there. He suddenly began rocking faster and smiling. I asked him, “Were you worried that you were going away along with your mattress?” He stopped and looked me in the eye. I told him that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he was staying with me. Suddenly, he seemed happier and began rocking.
I thought back to a conversation that I had on the phone just a few weeks back when I was writing the ficticious Baby Toby conclusion. I was talking to a friend of mine and had explained the part about about the disabled twin brother going to an institution. Dear Son has gotten very upset and started to cry when he heard me talk about it and I immediately got off the phone and had to explain to him for twenty minutes that it was just a fake story and had nothing to do with him. So the conversation today about the new hospital bed had him worried that I was giving him up.
As I put him in his new bed that night, I told him how much I loved him and that he was never going away. I told him that he should never worry about that. I kissed him good night and hoped he would sleep well.
I woke up the next morning with the most glorious sound filling the house. It was Dear Son snoring, loud as can be. I think it was the best night’s sleep he’s had in a long time. And mine too.
*It’s been almost a week now since he’s had the new bed. He continues to sleep well since I am able to raise the head of the bed up, to keep him from choking on his saliva.
7 comments:
Dream Mom,
I love reading your stories about Dear Son. I love that you seem to be so in tune with him, to really understand and take the time to explain things to him. Maybe this is what makes someone a "good" mom?
I am a school psychologist, so have extensive background in giving IQ tests. Even before having my own children with disabilities, I have often asked myself what these tests are really measuring. There is SO MUCH that kids know, that we cannot tap into with a traditional test. This is especially true with children who have physical impairments, and cannot talk.
I am so impressed with your persistence and perseverance in teaching and working with your son. I know how difficult it can be at times, but it is so rewarding. And it obviously makes all the difference for Dear Son.
By the way, I LOVED the fish story. He seems to have such a fun sense of humor! All of the statistics and tests in the world can't touch that.
YIPPEEE! A new bed... There isn't anything better than a good snoring sleep...(ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!)
I'm so pleased you're both enjoying the new bed!
-T.C.
I was so glad to see that the new bed is working well for Dear Son. :)
Your sensitivity to Dear Son's concerns and fears is so important. I wish that all special-needs moms were as "tuned in" as you are. Whenever we are at Hospital City, I always see kids like Dear Son who are unable to verbalize, and all too often it seems that they are told to "hush" or "be quiet". It breaks my heart, because you can *see* the intelligence and pain, and fear in their eyes.
I hope that the new bed continues to give Dear Son (and you!) many more nights of good, restful sleep. :)
I'm so happy Dear Son likes the new bed!
And if you like, someday, tell Dear Son a TRUE story about a family with twins, one with a disability. You can tell him the family loves both boys very very much. (And you know who THIS story is about--my house!)
Thanks for all of your heartfelt comments. I often wonder what a fascinating day it would be if I could just hear everything that is on his mind, for 24 hours. Of course, now that he is 15, if he could talk for "one" day, it would probably be to some high school girls and not to his mother:)
And Jennifer-I had to laugh at your comment. It was lovely. And I'll be sure to share that story with Dear Son. They really are just lovable kids. I almost can't imagine it any other way.
Dream Mom . I hope you get well soon.
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