It's been a while since I've posted updates and since I've received a few emails, I thought I'd give it a try. It's pretty hard doing anything other than caring for Matt since I really don't have any free time now that he's not in school anymore. Overall, he's doing great. We recently got a new wheelchair for him so I snapped a few pictures with my phone. We had just walked outside to take a walk around our neighborhood to try out the new chair. Matt's old wheelchair was almost ten years old and kept breaking. It was also hard to push. As you can see, Matt's a pretty big guy. He's around 6'2" or so and about 205 pounds. He doesn't look real tall in the chair however his legs are long, his torso is pretty long and he's just a big guy. Tall shirts and pants work better for him but are sometimes harder to find. I thought these pictures were great because he looked so happy.
In terms of my mother, I am really feeling the loss. I think I needed my mother more as an adult than I did growing up. My father passed away when I was 13 years old however it wasn't until Matt was in the hospital all the time a few years back that I really depended on her. I could always call her and tell her what was going on with Matt at the hospital and she was always there to talk to me. As you know, we'd spend weeks and sometimes months in the hospital so that was really special to me. In the last few years, I really enjoyed spending time with her at the nursing home. Although she had dementia, she could still speak and carry on a conversation. She was a very kind and loving mother.
She had many hobbies....she loved ballroom dancing and her favorite dance was the Tango. She played the piano by ear and was quite good. Unfortunately, none of us kids inherited that talent. She loved classical music and opera so we grew up listening to that music. She had a very good voice and worked as a telemarketer in her late fifties before going back to full time work downtown. At around 80 or so she sold her home and moved to a condo overlooking Lake Michigan. She loved nature and eating her breakfast overlooking the lake. She loved people and loved to talk, lol. She was very extroverted. She also loved nature. One of her favorite things were birds, especially the cardinal. She had a collection of birds so when she died, I purchased a curio cabinet off of Craigslist and put all of her birds in there. I took a few pictures of them to show you.
Perhaps most important in her life was her marriage to my father. My father spent 22 years in the Army. He won numerous awards including the Commendation Medal for his outstanding service in Korea. My father was one of seven children. His father died when he was two and my mother told me he had a hard life and all of the kids worked from an early age. When I was going through my mother's things, I came across two letters from my father. My mother and father were deeply in love and I can remember them always kissing before he left for work and as soon as he walked in the door. His letters always started with, "My dearest Joan" and ended with , "Your husband, Bob". He'd write "My Mrs....." on the front of each envelope and ended every letter with, "here are your hugs and kisses". He'd start the letters asking about her, then talk about what he was doing, then ask or comment on us kids and finally he'd give her the hugs and kisses in the letter and tell her the exact time he'd be home. It was really lovely to read. One of the letters I found was on their 16th wedding anniversary (he died right before their 25th wedding anniversary). It was written in 1962or 63 if I recall. He wrote their weeding anniversary date at the top and then wrote to remember this day and night (go Dad, lol). He started the letter off with, "Sixteen years ago we started our journey together....then he went on to say how much he enjoyed being married to her and how happy she made him and how great their life was together. He said he hoped it was as enjoyable for her and it was for him. He went on to thank her for their life together and for her kindness through the years. It was an amazing letter and one I'll certainly cherish. He then went on to tell her that he hoped she liked the gift he sent her. I was touched by the letter and how romantic it was. A few weeks later I was going through her pictures and found pictures of her with the red roses he sent her and the gifts.
I have been missing my mother and it will certainly take some time to get over her death. She was 89. As sad as it was, I was so thankful to have Matthew. When your heart is broken, it's wonderful to look into his eyes. He is such a happy young man and brings me such joy at such a difficult time. I know now why God gives us children. It's to help us go on.
A few months ago I was changing him and getting him dressed. I felt a bit rushed and I looked at him and he was watching me with those gorgeous blue eyes. As I was putting his shirt on, he took his right arm and tried to push it up on the bed as if to help me get his hand into the armhole of the shirt. I said, "Matt, thank you for helping me get your shirt on. I really appreciate that." Matt was smiling and just beaming. I told him that he was a real "gentleman" to help me like that. I said that a "gentleman" was a man that is kind and thoughtful to a lady and helps make her life easier. I said that when he helped me put his shirt on, he was being a gentleman. Matt just loved that. So after that, he tried to push his arm up all the time now because he knows he's a gentleman and that I like it. It makes me laugh every time at the sweetness of him.
Thank you for your concern for Matt and I.