Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Back to School!

It's been a fairly long summer here and I am actually somewhat relieved that Dear Son has started school. Now that's he's graduated, he's moved on to the Transition Center. This is a facility that is paid for by the school district where special needs students can attend until their 22nd birthday. After high school, they can exit the school system and move into a day program or choose to remain in the school system and attend their day program. The difference between the two is funding. You pay out of pocket for the day programs and transportation; most of the time Medicaid will help fund the day programs however regarding transportation, you are on your own. For that reason, I choose the Transition Center through school. The benefit for Dear Son is that he knows all of the kids and more often than not, they have many of the same people that assisted him in high school. The Transition Center focuses on life skills. There is still an IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place and he still receives physical, occupational and speech therapy.
As for Dear Son, we met with the neurologist last week. As you are aware, Dear Son has had a rough summer in terms of seizures. I had been in contact with the doctor on/off all summer and he's been tweaking his meds. About three weeks or so ago, he made a medicine change that seemed to help however Dear Son continued to have seizures every day. One of the issues that we have is that we are getting to a point with Dear Son where they are running out of options. The neurologist increased his vagus nerve stimulator (VNS) and the battery life is now less than four years; we just had the battery replaced last year. Dear Son is on a lot of meds and he's nearly maxed out on those medications. In addition, while there is a newer seizure medicine they could try, once they use it, they won't have any options left. The neurologist instead will review Dear Son's previous levels and increase one of the meds to see if that will help his seizures. He'll follow up with me this week regarding the change.
We also discussed school. Dad was quite insistent on Dear Son attending school full time, five days a week and I told him that will probably never happen again. Dear Son struggled to attend summer school for four hours, twice a week. As a result, I asked the neurologist to speak with Dad regarding school. The neurologist explained to him that Dear Son has deteriorated significantly in the past year and that he could no longer attend school on a full time basis. The most the doctor would agree to was three half days a week. In addition, he was extremely concerned about the upcoming respiratory season where Dear Son is concerned. He explained to Dad that Dear Son almost died last fall and that we may have to keep him home to prevent him from getting sick. Dad was adament about Dear Son attending school so hopefully he understands the situation a little better.
I contacted school and they are working on the transportation for school. Initially Dear Son attended on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8-noon however now that he will be going three days a week, I asked school if we could change the days to Monday, Wednesday and Friday so that Dear Son could have a day of rest in between. Beginning next week, he'll go to school from 8 to noon on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Tomorrow will be ten months since Dear Son was hospitalized for H1N1 and the viral pneumonia. As you will recall he was on a ventilator within 48 hours of contracting that and it took a long time to recover. It was months before he could attend school again and when he did it was only one day a week at first. After that hospitalization, he never moved his legs/feet and ten months later, he has never recovered that skill. In addition, he lost his ability to move his arms and hands. While he can still move his fingers, he can't move his hands so if I roll him over and his hands get bent in an odd position, they'll stay that way until I fix him. Likewise, if I move him in the hoyer lift and his hand or arm is twisted, he can't fix it unless I move it. This is just another milestone he's lost and never likely to recover.
The past ten months have been tough for him and a lot of work for me. As you know, I'll never, ever complain about taking care of Dear Son however that doesn't mean it isn't work. I don't think I've worked this hard taking care of him in all the years. While it can be tough taking care of someone 24/7, it's also one of the most rewarding jobs you could ever have. There is a certain amount of pride when you devote your life to taking excellent care of someone, especially your child. He is such a delightful young man. I call him my "happy boy". When he was a baby, he always had a smile for me in the morning. After this last medicine change, he seemed a bit better and started smiling again. I had been kind of down because he hadn't been smiling anymore and looking back, I think it was just that he didn't feel very well with all of those seizures. Now, when I change his diaper he tries to talk and says "hi". I am always amazed at how hard he works to give me a smile or to say hi. It is really something. It still makes me melt after all of these years.
The care though, is taking a lot out of me. I am tired a lot and it's a bit tougher now that I am , ahem, older, to be up all night and then up all day. I give his last meds at midnight and then start his feeding pump at 3:45 a.m. so his breakfast will be done in time to get him ready for school. In addition, it takes constant attention to detail making sure his arms, hands and feet are positioned correctly along with turning him over frequently so he doesn't get bed sores, giving meds every six hours and not getting a whole lot of sleep. I've also been giving him daily massages with organic virgin coconut oil (I use Now Foods Organic Virgin Coconut Oil; it's $9.99 for a 12 oz. glass jar at Whole Foods.) to reduce the edema in this legs and feet. The coconut oil is a great massage oil so it makes massaging his legs/feet easier. Last year the cardiologist recommended massaging his legs/feet twice a day to reduce edema. Since I've been massaging him regularly, I've been able to reduce and/or eliminate the swelling in both of his legs and his right foot. The left is always swollen and the right requires constant attention to keep the swelling under control. I feel really good that I've been able to keep the swelling down. In addition, I started using the virgin coconut oil on his pressure sore on his right ear. He had a tiny sore on his ear for almost two years and I had tried everything to get rid of it. I applied coconut oil every day and it not longer has a scab on it-it is pink most of the time and some days not visible at all. Other than that, Dear Son doesn't have any pressure sores, which is remarkable considering he is somewhat bedridden. I also have come to enjoy giving him these mini massages and it's great when I can see some results.
As for school, we are blessed. His freshman/sophomore teacher is now his teacher at the Transition Center. This woman has amazing patience and it's a pleasure to work with her again. I am sure Dear Son misses his teacher from high school since she was younger but this one is really quite nice. In addition, they have worked to make sure that they are doing everything they can to help Dear Son-he is the last pick up in the morning for the school bus and the only drop off at noon. That way, he doesn't have to ride the school bus any longer than is necessary. The doctor also asked that they notify me if any kids get sick in school, so that I can keep Dear Son home if necessary, since we need to avoid any respiratory infections. They have agreed to work with me on that. We did have some issues at summer school, which I addressed with the Director of Special Education, however they have worked all of those issues out. There is a different team in there for summer school so I am confident things will go smoothly.
Other than that, it's been a bit of a relief to get three or four hours to myself once in a while. Seven day a week care is quite a bit and I've been doing it for almost a year now. I remember last year, prior to Dear Son getting sick and I used to think it was a lot of work taking care of him 24/7 on a three day weekend when school was out, but this is quite another level. I am sorry I can't blog as much but I'll do my best.
And finally, I am pretty sure Dear Son is enjoying being back at school; I got him off the bus today and he smelled of perfume.
Note: Dear Son is eighteen years old and suffers from severe developmental delay, seizures and dystonia caused by a random mutation of the ARX gene. In addition, he has a progressive neurological disease.


Eileen said...

I think you have to be crowned the mistress of understatement and could probably give us Brits some lessons - "it's a bit hard as a carer" indeed. Look after yourself too. I think of you often and come by regularly to see how you are doing. If a virtual hug would help - consider yourself hugged!

Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch) said...

Hi, Dream Mom. I read Eileen's comment above and ((-)) Here's a hug from me too!! You certainly deserve it. You are a saint! I know that you do not want that title because you love your son and would do anything for him and WILL continue to do anything for him. I know that because I would do the same for my son. I took care of my Mom 24/7 (she died when she was 89) and for the last six months of her life, she went downhill and it was tough. So I don't know how you have done it for so long. Well, again, YES, I do know how you have done it... this is your beloved boy! Well, I am glad you are getting a few hours a week to yourself while he is at school, you need it. I will say a prayer that this upcoming season he will be healthy and happy and no germs come in contact with him. It is nice to hear that he is smiling again! I think of you often, and you and Dear Son are in my prayers. Take care.
Love and blessings,

Dream Mom said...

Thanks Eileen for the kind words and virtual hug! I did write a post about caregiving a few months ago. Hope all is well with you.


Gloria-Your comments always make me smile. Oh you do know me so well; I think many of us mothers feel the same way. Love the part about praying that "no germs will come in contact with him". He so needs that!

Bonnie @ House of Grace said...

You are a beautiful mother! We can learn from you!!! Have a great day.
Bonnie :)
P.S. I love coconut oil too.

Dream Mom said...

Thanks, Bonnie. That coconut oil is amazing, is it not? I use it all the time for everything.

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