Dr. Rey, Hayley Rey and Me

Channel surfing the other evening led to me to Dr. 90210. Dr. Rey is the babe plastic surgeon on the show who concentrates primarily on young women in need of oversize breast implants. Dr. 90210 might be like a modern day Brady Bunch only instead of the three lovely girls, he has lots of lovely girls. In the Brady Bunch days, there would inevitably be a problem that was always solved in thirty minutes. We liked those shows for the simple reason that all the problems were solved so quickly. Unlike the old sitcoms where there was a new problem every week, it’s pretty much the same problem every week that is always resolved with Dr. Rey urging the women to go with the 500 cc implants. The show ends with the woman coming back in to see Dr. Rey and he asks her to remove her blouse where he admires his work and tells her she looks beautiful.

Today’s topic is Hayley, Dr. Rey’s wife. It appears that Hayley has a problem because she has dropped to 88 pounds. In this episode, Dr. Rey is going to find out “how” Hayley has gotten so thin (usually it’s calories in/calories out). Apparently, this is unlike the rest of the world because we usually don’t devote shows on “how” people got fat (O.K. Super Size Me is the exception) but this is a major problem.

The show shows Hayley pulling a scale out from under her sink in the middle of the afternoon and stepping on the scale. Hayley has on heavy jeans and a top. The thick jeans cause the scale to register at a full 88 pounds. Hayley gets off the scale and puts it away. This to me is not normal. I would never, ever just get “on” the scale. I get up in the morning and proceed with the “ritual”. The ritual involves making certain that I eliminate every possible thing that might contribute to a “false” reading. When I get on the scale, I never ever wear shoes. Not only do I not wear shoes, I weigh totally naked. While Hayley only weighed once, I might choose to weigh multiple times. If, for example, the scale did not record an “accurate” weigh in, I might choose to take the best two out of three weigh ins. I also would never weigh, in the middle of the afternoon.

Hayley knows she is not eating so she decides to keep a food diary. Her food diary, as far as I could see, consists of approximately ten days worth of eating on an 8.5 x 11 inch page. This is unlike my food journal which starts on an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet and sometimes goes on to the back side, depending on how things are going. Mine however, is only for “one” day. In the event that I don’t eat for a day, otherwise known as a “sick” day for you thin folks, I do not keep a food diary. Instead, I choose to weigh multiple times and record the weight in my “permanent” record.

A sample meal on Hayley’s food diary is, “Pizza pocket, Pepsi”. Some days, I noticed she had more than one meal. Hayley says that she is VERY stressed right now and she sometimes just forgets to eat. While she may forget to eat, she is not forgetting to write this down. In Hayley’s case, no cortisol is released and she does not have a big stomach.

My food journal looks a little different. A typical lunch for me is spinach (2 cups), toasted walnuts (2 tbsp), orange (peeled and placed on salad) with honey for a salad dressing. I also have a Boca Veggie Burger (Original Vegan), romaine lettuce, a whole wheat bun, diet iced tea. If I am stressed, I usually do not forget to eat. A really good option for stress eating might be Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. This however is called “emotional” eating. I also remember to write it down but usually choose not to. In my case, loads of cortisol is released contributing to a less than flat stomach.

Dr. Rey can not believe her food diary. He says something to the effect that he knew she was “losing weight” but he didn’t know “how”. Hayley jumps in and says that he knows how much she likes having a “curvy” body and she doesn’t like how she looks. Dr. Rey, trying to help Hayley out here, tries to cut her off mid-sentence and says something to the effect , “Hayley, it’s not about that, it’s about being happy with the body God gave you”.

O.K. Time out again. First, I have been watching the show for a few years now. Hayley has never been curvy. If you added twenty pounds to Hayley she still wouldn’t be curvy. But it gets more odd. Dr. Rey, a Hollywood plastic surgeon who makes his money helping women take their “God” given bodies and transforming them into the body of “God’s” says that she should be happy with the body God gave her. O.K. By this time, I am really enjoying the show.

Dr. Rey goes on to say that because of her eating, he is concerned because everything will be off-her electrolytes, etc. If I am not eating, I frankly don’t care if my electrolytes are off because I know it is only a temporary condition that will be resolved within a 24 hour period when I resume eating.

So, I’ll just have to tune in next week to see how Dr. Rey is going to handle this situation. As for me, I’ll continue to pay my weekly fee to Weight Watchers and watching Dr. 90210.